Hiei & Ningen Technology Equals TROUBLE!
by Neko-Koorime
Summary: With the others at school and Hiei home alone, he has a few problems. Like a fridge that just won't close, a TV that OBVIOUSLY hates him, and a microwave that likes to burn his food. Oh, and a lot of a strange substance named aftet ducks...


"Hiei, we're going to school! And since you have made it clear you are skipping today, try not to break anything while we're gone! We'll be back by 4!" Kurama called from the foyer.

"Don't burn anything!" Yusuke yelled as well.

"Or blow anything up!" Kuwabara said as well. He didn't have to yell, he was already very loud.

"Yeah, we'd like the house in one piece when we get back..." Kassandra added.

The fire demon didn't answer; he simply waved from his couch. Yes, it was HIS couch, despite the fact that the fox and Kassandra bought it with their babysitting money. Kurama sighed.

"Bye Hiei..." Then he rushed everyone out of the door. If they didn't hurry they'd be late for school. And he didn't want a tardy on his perfect record.

Well, the fire demon spent the first couple hours napping on and off. Then he decided he was hungry. Or rather, his stomach decided it was hungry. Ah well. They kept a lot of food in the house. So what to eat? Hiei wandered around the house until he ended up in the kitchen. He wasn't in any hurry.

The fridge was one of those that had two doors, one on top of the other. The one on top was called Freezer. He wondered who it was that lived in it and kept his sweet snow cold. He'd looked several times and couldn't find anyone in there. Ah well...an unknown mystery of his world.

Opening Freezer, he reached in and pulled out a carton of sweet snow. Now one thing he'd realized, was in order to close Freezer, you had to give it a good shove. Mr. (or Mrs., though he was relatively sure it was a Mr.) Freezer didn't like to stick back into place. And had Kurama yelled at him last time when he left Freezer open. Well... yelled is the wrong term. The Fox never yelled. Or at least not over something as trivial as leaving Freezer open. It was really just a calm talk.

Anyway, Freezer didn't like returning to the closed state, so Hiei slammed Freezer shut. He turned around and saw that now Refri Dgerator, or as the others had nicknamed it, Fridge, was open. So, as it would appear that Fridge had the same problem, Hiei slammed Fridge shut, too.

But he had barely turned around when out of the corner of his eye he spotted that now Freezer was open again! When he closed Freezer this time, he didn't turn around and sure enough, Fridge opened. Closing Fridge, he watched annoyed as Freezer slowly drifted open.

"Hn."

He closed Freezer while holding Fridge closed, and stayed like that for 5 minutes. Then he let go and left the room, satisfied it wouldn't be opening again.

He had just settled on the couch when he realized that he'd left his sweet snow in the kitchen. He tromped back in, grabbed the snow, and was going to go back to the couch when he felt cold air. Slowly he turned around and Fridge was open.

Hiei's eye twitched. Once, and only once.

Then he shut Fridge and waited. Sure enough, Freezer drifted open. Hiei closed Freezer and leaned against Fridge to keep him closed. But above his head, he watched as Freezer drifted open, grazing his hair and pushing it forward toward his face. If he looked forward, he could see the tip of his hair as well as having that cross eyed feeling. He didn't like that. Quickly he pushed Freezer back into place, backing away from Fridge in the process. Just as he had convinced himself he had won, Fridge slid forward, pushing him back slightly as well.

Hiei was ticked. Rapidly, he shut the doors, Fridge then Freezer, Fridge then Freezer, Fridge then Freezer, Fridge then Freezer, until finally, he blew his cool and zipped out to the garage returning with the first thing he saw. Which just so happened to be a roll of something silver. Not really silver. Really it was a shiny dark grey. But now he was going to use it to put Fridge and Freezer into place.

Right after he figured out how to use it…

After getting his arms tangled up in the silvery stuff, he finally figured it out. One side was sticky, and the other wasn't. Sticky side goes down. Armed with his new knowledge, Fridge and Freezer soon found themselves secured tightly. With a nod he grabs his snow and settles in the living room. However, the ice cream was gone quickly, and he as still hungry.

Back into the Kitchen he went. After looking in the cupboards, he conveniently found a package of instant Ramen someone had bought. Of course, three minutes was way too long for him to wait. And he didn't want to wait for the water to boil either, so he poured some water from the tap into a bowl and added all the stuff in. Then, he put it, uncovered, into Microwave. Since it took three minutes with boiling water. He hit the minute button on Microwave three times. Then he waited. After about thirty seconds, the stuff looked a little funny. But since someone else had always cooked this for him, how was he supposed to know?

By the time a minute was up, the flavored liquid had exploded and now covered Microwave. But still he didn't stop it. At the end of two minutes, Microwave was a smoke filled cubicle like object. Of course, at the end of the three minutes, when he opened Microwave he got a face full of smoke. But he could deal with that. What he saw inside the bowl, he could not.

The liquid was gone, and the noodles were burnt to a crisp.

Frustrated, he tries again. And again. And again. And again. And yet again. Finally, after he burnt the last one to a crisp, Hiei grabbed the duct tape he had left on the counter and soon had the Microwave trussed up just like Fridge and Freezer.

However, as satisfying as that was, he was still hungry. Not particularly in the mood to do much at this point, Hiei grabbed a bag of potato chips someone hadn't left under lock and key.

After eating the huge bag, he was no longer hungry. But now he was bored. Digging into the couch, he found the remote to TV. After hitting a button, it turned on, and another button brought it to a station he liked. After a while though, suddenly and mysteriously, the station switched to a fashion one. And everything was bright pink.

Covering his eyes, he switched it back to MTV. In the middle of a good music video, it switched to a cooking channel. Well, it held his attention for a moment, until they stopped showing the bright, flickering, flame, and moved to some crazy person in white throwing green vegetables into orange liquid and throwing black stuff on top while stirring a mixture that looked a little like what Kuwabara and Yusuke had exuded when they caught Flu. Kurama had been smart enough not to, as was Kassandra. How hard is it not to catch someone?

Disgusted, he flipped it back to MTV. After this occurred several times, he lost his temper and-

You guessed it. The TV ended up the same way as Microwave and as Fridge and Freezer.

vv Fast Forward vv

"Hiei, We're home! Hiei?"

There were multiple brown cardboard rolls littering the ground. It wasn't hard to determine what had been on them. The television was covered in a dark grey frost and the couch had various lengths of the same tape hanging off all edges. Half way buried in more rolls and pieces of duct tape, as well as empty potato chip bags, asleep, Was...

Hiei.

Deciding to let him sleep, they moved on to the kitchen.

"Omigosh!" Kassandra gasped.

Every single technical thing in the room had been wrapped in duct tape. Empty Ramen packages littered the floor, much like the empty rolls of duct tape had in the living room. Smoothie packages and even some smoothie itself was splattered across the counter and floor. Half done Jello was on the floor, with the bowl still on the floor and even wraapped in duct tape. The light fixture was giving off no light, or if it was, you couldn't see it through the coating of duct tape.

A quick scan was done of the other three floors of the house. The only untouched room was the attic, and Kassandra and Kurama's room. They didn't keep anything in the atticthat was technological, with the exception of a small tableside lamp and a computer for recording the information, and in Kassandra'sroom, only another lamp and, her Playstation 2 and it's games. Kurama kept only a reading lamp near his bed. But apparantly, he hadn'tgone inany of those roomsroom, though the game systems in the game room wereburied under thelayers of shiny tape.

All of themgathered again in the living room.

"Ahem."

Hiei awoke with a start.

"Hn. Why did you wake me up?"

Everyone's eyes narrowed. Theytook another tourof the house, this time with a sleepy Hiei in tow. When they finished he lookedat them all and shrugged.

"Ningen Technology doesn't like me."

"CLEAN IT UP!"

Hiei however ignored them, went to his room, and fell asleep.

Fuming, everyone else cleaned the mess up, and began to plot their revenge...


End file.
